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If you find yourself too tired to drive home and decide to spend the night with a fried, you call home. If you don’t it’s because you are fucking. Reality check. My parents have disowned me. My ex-lover Leah has moved and ghosted me. Now the person I have put everything on the line for is sleeping with someone else. We had five days left on the monthly rent so I logged into my bank account and canceled my autopay. She used to give me a check every month for her half of the rent but the last two times she made an excuse and left it all to me. Plus the groceries. And the cooking. And cleaning up and making the bed and doing laundry. She went to work and came home to dinner that I cooked and paid for. I found a room in this cheap and scary hotel. It had been condemned but the owners were in court fighting it and I had no idea why. It was a dump but located in prime real estate. They should have razed it and sold that land. I later found out that they qualified to house section eights. Once again we have been fortunate to secure the services of Colonel Bagshotte to take on the role of spanker. He and Mrs Bagshotte have been kind enough to allow us to use the Grange and the grounds for our production. I would like to say a special thank you to Mrs Bagshotte for allowing us to prevail upon her husband once again. As you know, he has not been in the best of health and I know Mrs Bagshotte was somewhat concerned about the exertion. The colonel and his wife are a very public-spirited couple and have been unstinting in their support. I should mention that the good lady provided refreshments throughout the long editing session and her home-made ginger biscuits were delicious. I have secured the use of a slide projector and Mr Dodderington, our photographer, has produced a number of excellent slides so I can show you how we are getting on.’‘Lights please, Mrs Dewhurst.’Mrs Dewhurst obediently went to the switch by the door and turned off the lights. The flickering slide.
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